Raven's MixMatched Love
by Mercenary Clown
Summary: Raven has some "adventures" into random love scenarios. features cross overs from anywear and everywear. rated "M" because i dont know how far it will go
1. Chapter 1

faust-well hello ladies and gentleman, ive decided to start a fairly random and (hopefully) funny series of stories involving everyones favourite half demoness...

Raven-what the hell? how did i get in this cage?

Faust-simply, i hired my good buddy Mercenary Clown to do it...

MC-hello little bird. im surprised you didn't notice me...are you not an empath?

Faust-Merc, your a sociopath...you dont have emotions...she cant feel whats not there...

MC-ahhh...yeah...forgot...by the way, where is my payment?

Faust-*shakes head* don't worry, i havent forgotten our deal...its over there

Raven-what are you going to do to me?

Faust-well, as i was explaining...i am out to put the record straight. i am a fan of BBxRAE, and many people are as well. but some just refuse to believe it...so im going to prove it.

Raven-*glances at MC, who is playing with a large box of bombs and guns* and how did kidnapping me accomplish that?

Faust-*chuckles* simply, little one...im going to have all these stories be about you with random guys from other stories.

MC-*starts laughing* and i get to pick the first guy...errr...more or less

Raven-im going to be sick...

MC-you might, because i have chosen already, meet your first "date"

with that, Raven looks over and notices a large figure standing in the corner, his huge frame seems to be wearing a leather outfit, and he is breathing heavily...

Raven-ummm...hello?

Mysterious figure-S.T.A.R.S!

Raven walks home, thinking about her long time BF, and sighs...they where having problems, he has been distant, even by her standards... he has gotton this obsession, and its destroying their relationship.

she looks up and notices him standing near an alley. she is confused when he ambles into the alley, and she hears a gunshot. she rushes to the alley and all she can see is his frame . she tries to look around him and spots blood splatters. He turns around and notices her. his eyes plead for her understanding. he is holding a young man by his throught, the life gone in his eyes. he is holding a pistol and wearing a police uniform.

"thats it...im done...i could handle th mutation...and even the lack of speech...bu now your obbsession has drawn the line for us." she cries, "we're finished Nemises!"

The hulking brute drops the man, and turns towards raven and as she storms off, he softly utters

"S.T.A.R.S"

as ive said, im bored

by the way, i dont own residant evil or teen titans

more to come


	2. Chapter 2

Faust-Im back, now, for the next chapt...who do you think should be with Raven this time?

Raven-how bout letting me go?

Faust-naw...i dont think so, im having fun...

MC-i brought the next guy, as you ordered

Faust-Excellent, this should be fun

I do not own Teen Titans, or any of the CHAR. that appear in this series.

Raven is sitting at the coffee shop, grinding her teeth. he is late, again...she's been waiting for over an hour. Just as she stands up and turns, she see's an upside down face with one eye.

"Kakashi! where the fuck have you been?" She growls

"I was on my way over when i discovered a new path in life, and i started walking..."

"Bull!" she interupts.

"But, i am here now, which is what matters" he explains, flipping onto the floor and sits down," your favourite?"

"fine," Raven concedes, "im pretty hungry"

Kakashi waves over a waiter, "i would like a bagel with creaam cheese and a green tea, while the lady would like a pork bun with coffee." The waiter wrights the order down and walks away. Kakashi picks up his copy of _Make out paradise_ and begins to read.

"i dont even like pork! how can you see thats my favourite" Raven fumes

"You never know until you try, besides, its good for you" Kakashi muses, without bothering to look up from his book.

"i can't stand it when you don't pay any attention to me!"

"i pay plenty of attention, im just reading," He explains, "its the newest book."

Raven's eyes glow white, and suddenly a fork is flying at Kakashi, he deftly blocks it with a kunai. suddenly, all sorts of objects start floating around the room, flying at him at random. He dodges them all without looking away from his book. Raven is shaking now.

"This is what i get for dating a ninja!" she storms out

the waiter comes from the back carrying a tray, "here is your meals...where did your lady friend go?"

"Im not sure," Kakashi shrugs, eye never leaving the book, "Probably discovered a new path in life."

I think i got Kakashi down pretty well...eh...oh well

thank you to my reviewers...you know who you are

till next time


	3. Chapter 3

i must thank alienvspredator5 as my most frequent reviewer...mind you, hes two outta three...but hey, beggers cant be choosers.

Faust-so, merc? who did you pick up today?

MC-tis a secret...i find that this to be very funny.

Faust-*raises eyebrow* should i be scared?

MC-naaa...wait...scared for who?

Faust-why do i feel this is going to end in someone getting hurt...badly

Raven-Clown...you best not make a fool of me

MC-now why would i do that...unless you miss good ol nemisis?

Raven-*shudders* you disgust me

MC-Good

Faust-on with the show

I do not own Teen Titans nor anything other then Mercenary Clown

"I HATE YOU WITCH!" Terra screamed at Raven

"and why are you yelling at me now?" Raven asked

"because you told BB that you think i don't love him, and that im still a traitor" Terra pouted

"So? is it wrong for me to lie to him?" Raven Quizzed

"You ruined what me aand Beast Boy had!" Terra said, shaking

"Whatever" Raven starts, "this is a pointless argument."

Before erra could say another word, Raven Teleports to her room. Sighing, she opens up her favourite tome. she starts dreaming of a man with a great mind like hers. he would be smart, but kinda creepy, just like her...Suddenly, she sneezes, and a portal opens up. tumbling through the portal is a slight, unassuming young man. he stands up (with a slight crouch) and dust's himself off. Raven looks dumbfounded, unsure of who this man is.

"Who are you?" Raven demands

the man crouches down, and stares at her, he replies in a soft voice "Hideki Ryuga"

"What are you doing here?"

"It is safe to say that i have no idea, seeing as i was working on the Kira case over in Tokyo, when suddenly i was pulled here."

Raven thinks to herself "_Kira case? if thats true, then he must be very smart. And he doesn't look half bad"_ Raven looks up to see Hideki playing with her mirror, holding it very delicatly while balancing on her chair.

"What are you doing?" Raven asked, slightly annoyed.

"looking around" he said non chalantly. he walks over and crouches on her bed. Raven is now watching this guy check out every inch of her room, leaving nothing untouched. she feels her anger start to build.

"Stop touching my stuff" she demands, her voice getting low and her eyes turning white.

Without a word, Hideki walks over and grabs her hair, sniffing it. he examines her up and down, touching and prodding. Just then the door opens and Cyborg walks in.

"Hey Rav...What the hell is going on!" Cyborg's human brain is not working, and his robotic brain is displaying "_error, error, visual data matches no possible scenarios_"

Raven suddenly shrieks with rage, her eyes replaced with 4 demonic red eyes. She picks up Hideki with her tentacles and draws him close to her

"**WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!**"

He leans forward and licks her face, causing the young half-demon to scream, opening a portal where flames shoot out and agonizing screams are heard. She throws Hideki into the portal and closes it. She finally returns to normal and notices Cyborg standing at her door.

"Ra...Raven? Di...did you just throw someone into...He..Hell?" He stuttered

"Yes...he touched me"

_Meanwhile, in Tokyo_

Light is sitting, laughing. His Nemisis, L, was Missing, and he couldn't control himself. Who knew that he could have the Death Note kill using the method "Thrown into hell by Demon"

Ahhh...i feel better...nothing like throwing someone i dislike into hell...

MC-Poor bastard...whats bad is that it actually happened...go figure

Faust-are you feeling sorry for someone

MC-wha? i was playing a game...why are you interupting me?

Faust-*sweatdrop* and just when i thought there was hope for you

hope you enjoyed it.

for my reviewers...if you wanna see a specific Char. then review, and throw a name into the pot. Male, Female, clone, robot, i dont really care...it'll help me pass the time

till next time


	4. Chapter 4

Welcome back, i know, i know...i have problems...its ok...

MC-I brought the next contestant!

Faust-very good, hopefully, he doesn't go the way L did.

Raven-He deserved it.

Faust- But HELL? i dont think MC would have done that.

MC-if i could, i would.

Faust-your starting to worry me...you need a girlfriend...

MC-whos to say i dont?

Faust- ummm...right, fair point...i guess...

MC-High Five?

Faust-why?

MC-is it wrong to give my only friend a high five?

Faust-fine *gives high five*

MC-HEY! DONT HIT MY GIRLFRIEND!

Faust-i hate you

i own nothing but Mercenary clown

Raven wakes with a start, Breathing hard. She had just had another nightmare.

"Goddamn...when will it end." She mumbled

"whats wrong?" Said a laid back voice.

"Just another nightmare, yoh." She replied, shaking it from her mind.

"Wow, you've been having alot...the same one?" said her boyfriend, Yoh Asakura.

"yeah, you still had that samurai ghost, and you where fighting this blonde guy with a funky flower o his hat." She explained.

"im sorry, i don't know what these dreams mean." He soothingly replies.

Raven looks at her BF. His slightly bristly black hair, his relaxed eyes, open shirt and sandels...even the headphones...all saying the same thing. hes a laid back guy. which is perfect for her. she needed someone to be calm and mature.

"there is more...but its really weird." Raven admitted, bringing her knees to her chest.

"Tell me, promise i wont make fun of you." He asked, concerned

"Well...ok," Raven said, giving in," you two decided to fight, using your powers...He already had the skeleton dog, but suddenly, you two where in a graveyard...and he summoned the entire graveyard into his army, but you where pulverising them...suddenly, he opens his coat, and a skeleton with a bullet hole in the head was hanging there...he pulled it out...he did something and it was human again...it was a female, but you cut off her legs...and suddenly he lost his mind..."

"shhh, its ok Raven. I promise you...i wont go fighting some creepy skeleton guy..." He reassured her.

"I know...it just...seems so weird." she admitted, "like, it actually hapened."

"i know babe," he replied, smiling.

Suddenly the doorbell rings, and Yoh got up to answer it. He comes back and takes Ravens hand. "Raven, my friend is here, and he wants to meet you. He has come all the way from Germany to see me and you."

Raven nods and walks with Yoh, who leads him into the living room. Her heart stops when she see's the man in front of her. Taking off a weird hat with a funky flower on it, blond hair, and a bit scraggly looking.

"Hello, you must be Miss Raven Yoh speaks of so fondly." He extends his hand, "I am DR. Faust"

"Yoh, this is the man from the dream!" Raven said, backing away

"Hmmm?" Faust looks at yoh, "Dream?"

"Shes has been dreaming that i am going to fight you in a graveyard and cut off your eliza's legs." Yoh explained...

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Faust bursts into laughter, then composes himself and looks at Raven, "Dear child, That battle happened years ago, ve have gone past such pettyness. Besides, Eliza is just fine." With that, Raven watches as the Man opens his jacket and reveals a tied up Skeleton with a bullet hole in the skull. Raven suddenly faints.

ahhh...i miss that manga...i did so enjoy Faust's role in the story, and his personality...

again, i hope i nailed Yoh's and Faust's personalities right.

and raven is of course, a bit OOC, o well, my story, not yours.

again, you want to see a specific char. review and let me know...i get bored.

Till next time


	5. Chapter 5

Faust-I wonder where the hell MC is at...

Raven-Maybe he can't find anyone at all?

Faust- *laughs* it isn't hard to find anyone, just hard to find those freaky pervs...like slade...he practically begged me to do a part with you...but even im not that depraved...

Raven-*shudders* then why do you keep me here?

Faust-Because i am depraved enough for that...now...i swear on the underworld i will beat his ass if he doesn't have a good excuse.

Suddenly, the door bursts open, and MC Walks in with two girls

MC-I think i've got a good one here

Faust-One? you got two?

MC-Oh, no, the one tied up is the next contestant, this beautiful specimen is a one Frauline Phantasm.

Raven-wait...you expect me to date her?

MC-i expect you to date her *points to shaking bundle on the ground*

i expect to date Phantasm *suddenly grabs each other and makes out*

*faust and raven look disgusted*

Faust-well...i did tell him to have a good excuse...

I dont own shit...cept mercenary clown and now this "phantasm"

its been a a few weeks since they let her back on the team. Terra was sitting in her room, crying. She couldn't fight it anymore. Seeing Raven and Beast Boy together was ripping her apart. If she was to keep her sanity, she would have to act. She gets up and heads towards the roof. As she is heading up there, she walks past Raven heading away from BB's room.

"H..Hey, Raven...Can we talk?" Terra asked timidly

Raven looks at her from under her hood, unsure of what the Geomancer wants. She senses confusion, but also conviction. It probably has something to do with Beast Boy and herself dateing.

"Is this going to become an argument?" Raven returns with a question, "Cuz i don't feel like arguing tonight."

"no, nothing like that, can you just meet me on the roof." Terra inform her, "it will be quick, i promise."

"Fine" Raven sighs, "Be up there in five minutes."

Terra rushes up the stairs, not sure how to explain herself. She is almost afraid to tell the Dark Empath, hell, she is afraid...but she has to do it. Raven has to know where she stands. Terra opens the door and spots the Empath, standing there in the moonlight. Her Violet hair almost black, her eyes shining in the low light, her pale skin glistining. She know's what must be done. Terra walks up to Raven and before the Empath can figure out whats going on, Terra grabs her and slams her into the wall, planting a deep kiss on Raven's lips. Raven's eyes widen in shock, her body unable to respond. Terra is kissing with so much pent up passion, that she can scarcely remember what happened next. Raven put her arms around her, pulling her into her own body. they extend the kiss, Raven even takes a nip at Terras lip, cuasing her to shiver.

_So, Raven is a biter...big suprise..._ Terra thought to herself.

Suddenly, Terra is lifted into the air. She looks down to see the empaths beautiful eyes have turned white.

"What? i thought..." Terra begane, trying to form words in her confused mind

"What? that i liked you...im a pretty good actor Terra." Raven glared, "you must really learn to judge body languadge better...or ignore my acts."

"What are you doing" Terra demanded

"did you know i love animals?" Raven mused, "Probably a reason why i love Beast Boy."

"whats your point?"

"Did you know sharks can smell blood from over a mile away? And that one they taste blood it starts a frenzy?" Raven continued.

"Yeah, whats your poi..."Realization dawned on Terra, her lip was bleeding slightly, and Raven was going to chuck her into the ocean, "Dont do it!"

Raven shrugs and transports Terra through an unknown protal. Glad to be done with that, she walks back towards Beast Boys room.

Faust-you like throwing people through random portals, huh?

Raven-she deserved it

Faust-what if...

Raven-*glares at Faust*

Faust-ok, ok, ok...it dont matter


	6. Chapter 6

MC and Phantasm stop makeing out long enough to get introduced

Faust-Who the fuck are you?

Phantasm-I am Phantasm, of the Sturm Abtulong, Secret Police Branch.

Raven-wait...Sturm Abtulong, SP? that is the SS of Nazi Germany.

MC-Correct! Isn't she gorgeous?

Faust-I honostly didn't know that all leather body suits where used by the SS...

Phantasm-Nien, it is a personal choice.

MC-and she is absolutely stunning

Raven-*looks at Faust* ummmm...he is your alter ego...

Faust-I make no claims, i deny all knowledge...don't you have a new Boyfriend to meet?

Raven-I hate you

I own nothing but phantasm and MC

Raven is enjoying her book, leaning against a tree in the park. Her boyfriend is somewhere around training. She sighs to herself, sometimes, thats all he thinks about...all he want's is to be the best, which really isnt a bad thing. She checks her watch, he has been training for several hours now. where is he?

"Hey Rae, sorry it took so long." Her BF, Ash called, jogging up to her, "I met up with this other trainer, and we just had to battle"

Raven looks up and examines her Boyfriend. Dark, lopsided hair under a baseball cap, normal "Trainer" clothes, and a large smile on her face. He probably fits the description of dork very well. and of course, you can't forget his always-at-his-side companion, Pickachu.

"Pika!" the little yellow bastard cried out.

"Sometimes i wish he could talk..." Ash said, absentmindedly.

Raven whispers her mantra, and a dark dot hits Pickachu without Ash noticing.

"And i wish you'd shut the fuck up about Officer jenny, seriously, your worse then Brock" Pickachu said, not realising that it wa speaking in english.

"what was that pickachu?" Ash said, shocked.

Pickachu, still not noticing the change, kept speaking. "I'm tired of you talking about that whore of a Officer Jenny, i get it, you two have fucked around a lot lately, but seriously, shut up about her, Raven is way better anyway."

Ash looks over at Raven, who is glaring at him. he gulps and stammers, "I should sart running now, shouldn't I?"

"Oh yes, i think you should, unless you wish to die." Raven said menecingly

Ash starts running, when suddenly, a portal opens up right in front of him and he steps through it. he reapears in front of anothe Trainers Hitmonlee, who delivers a roundhouse kick that sends him flying.

Raven rubs her temple, "And i thought James from Team Rocket was Bad..."

Raven Picks up her book and starts walking away, when she notices a small creature with a skull on his head.

"Hello little guy, who are you?" She asks

The creature looks up at her, with a small, sad voice it replied, "Cubone"

"well, little cubone, ive recently sent my Ex flying, would you like to come with me?" She asked

Cubone looks at her excitedly, "Cubone! Cu, Cu, Cubone, Bone!"

Raven Chuckles to herself, "I'll take that as a yes"

Cubone starts walking with Raven, passing Ash, who was lying on the ground dazed. He looks up at Raven, "We can be trainers together now, if you'll forgive me"

Raven Glares at Ash, and Cubone walks over to Ash and slams on his head with his Bone.

Raven raises an eyebrow at Cubone, "I am likeing you even more already, lets go home"

"Bone!"

Well, yeah...that one sucked a little, i could barely remember any of the orignal pokemon types, but i refuse to even try any of the new games...but Cubone was my favourite...tough little bastard too...Him and Haunter.

but, i digress...noone is giving me any idea or suggestions, so maybe this isn't a very good series...oh well, screw you guys, mercenary clown tells me im a good writer

MC-you suck

ooook...maybe not...well...till next time...


	7. Chapter 7

props to hot dog285 for throwing a suggestion..maybe your suggestion may pop in the future...though gravemind is not exactly what i had in mind...but, i do hope you like my choice... 

Faust-*looks at Raven* how are you today?

Raven-I hate you, you wouldn't let me keep Cubone...he was adorable.

Faust-*shakes head* i know, im sorry...but that would have thrown the space time continuem off dranmatically.

MC-*looks up* The what?

Raven-Basically, the world as we know it would change drastically -looks at Faust- then how can i date these freaks?

Faust-I made a deal with a certain omnipotent being.

Raven-You dont mean my father?

Faust-Of course not, i was reffering to Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris runs in, round house kicks MC in the face, throws a thumbs up sign at Faust, then runs out*

MC*standing back up* ouch! Goddamn it! That fuckin hurt

Raven-*looks at MC* Chuck Norris's Kicks are insta-death….what are you?

Faust-*shakes head* I havent a clue…but he scares me

On with the show

I do not own Teen Titans, Halo, or anything aside from MC

Raven sat patiantly in the crowds, her boyfriend was recieving some kind of award, but she didn't really understand it. Amongst the crowds where a whole slew of Military in Fancy uniforms, as well as armed gaurds. she was on a battle station well above the atmosphere of earth. she was a little nervous, but knew that this was a tradition that must be upheld.

"For Gallentry and Bravery in assissting with the destruction of the Halo Ring, we award you with this award." The old man said, pinning something on MSG Johnson's chest. He promptly salutes, "Thank you, SIR!"

Suddenly, the sirens in the battle station go off, alerting everone to a massive alien armada.

"The covenent is here, everyone to their battlestations!"

MSG Johnson runs over to Raven, "Sweety, our vacation will have to wait, get to safety."

"Of course, but I wont get to safety" She replied.

"MSG Johnson, Master Chief, lead the Counter Assualt, don't let those bastards in!" Said a fairly young women.

"Yes Ma'am" said a Heavily Armored Soldier, who took Johnson off to gather weapons and a strike team.

Raven was suddenly surrounded by MP's,"Ma'am, the MSG ordered your escort to a transport shuttle, we need you to come with us."

Raven looked like she was ready to fight, but gave up. She knew that her boyfriend was a Marine, and that's all he would ever be. She Followed the MP's, and, as the Shuttle sped towards earth, she let single tear fall.

_**A FEW HOURS LATER**_

Johnson had just finished off some grunts as he looked at the viewpanel, he saw Master Chief had just disarmed the Bomb.

"Well done Master Chief, let me get some EOD guys down there and we can safely transport and blow that thing."

"Negative, I have my own Idea." Was the response MSG Johnson got.

"What are you going to do?"

The Spartan just responded, "Giving the Covenent Back their bomb." And with that, the Comline went dead.

Johnson sighed, he knew better then to argue with the Master Chief. Suddenly, one of the MPs walked up to him, "Did you escort Raven out of here?"

"Yes MSG, we did, she went without a fight, but she did ask me to deliver this note." The Marine responded.

"Carry on, Marine." Johnson ordered, Taking the note. He opened it up, and read it…

_MSG Johnson-_

_I know this is going to be hard for you, but its hard for me. I know that you are a Marine, First, Second, and Third. I just wish you could have fit me in there. So, this is where we end._

_ Raven_

eh, I know…. A little odd, but it kinda worked out…actually, I don't think this one was very good, but I did try…and if you don't like it…well.

fuck you guys, my mom says im a good writer.


	8. Chapter 8

Faust-well now, it has been some time, hasn't it?

MC-shit...how long has it been?

Faust- far too long my dear friend...

Raven-Can I go now?

Faust-No, MC, you got the latest contestant?

MC- Right hear boss, he was a tad a hard to find...practically went to Mars for this one.

Faust- ooh...foreshadowing, I like it.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPP

Soft jazz was playing, and a light breeze blew through the heavy air. Raven sat in a chair, wearing shades and using a fan to cool herself. Suddenly, a man in a blue suit sat down with some lemonade.

"you look hot, darlin'." he slowly said, "figured you could use a drink." he proceeded to sit down across from her.

"My name is not darling." Raven responded, gnashing her teeth a little. She could feel her blood rushing slightly

"woah now, take it easy, wasn't trying to upset ya." he added quickly, pushing his hands forward, "just trying to be friendly.

She looked at his face, and noticed is eyes. They where both brown, but his right eye was slightly off color. "fine...thank you for the drink Mr..." she trailed.

"Spiegel...Spike Spiegel." he replied, smiling brightly, "and you are?"

"Raven" she replied, staring at him.

"very majestic" he replied, nodding, sipping his drink. "what brings you to Mars?"

"I am on vacation." she responded somewhat tersely, "and yourself?"

"No real reason, figured I would come back to the 'Ol home planet, ya know?"

"I suppose so..." she began.

Suddenly, Raven heard the beep of Spike's communicator, and a voice crackles over.

"Hey spike?! you find that demon girl yet? You aid yourself that you could find any demon regardless of how innocent they seemed?" spike quickly shut his communicator down. He looked up to see that Raven had vanished. He sighed and struck off down the road.

Hours pass, and it has gotten dark. Spike is meandering through the city, when he suddenly hears the cries of a young child down an alley. He rushes down between the two buildings, checking for the child. Suddenly, he hears a whisper in his ear.

"I'm not a full fledged demon, but I can get you to meet one."

Suddenly spiked is pushed towards a portal, he turns in time to see Raven, staring at him with four eyes.

Spike lands with a hard thud, in a new, and very hot area.

"WHO DARES TRESPESS IN THE DOMAIN OF TRIGON THE TERRIBLE!

Spike gulps hard and tries to light his cigarette.

Xxxxxxx

meanwhile, back on Mars, Raven stares up at the sky and points her finger up.

"See you Space Cowboy"

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPP

MC-Hmmm...It was nice seeing someone get tossed into hell.

Faust- it has been along time...

Raven-I hate you both...


End file.
